Not searching for a soul mate

People always talk about searching for a soul mate, but I don’t think you can really. He or she just has to be there. If you search, you put conditions on what you’re looking for – you go to places where he or she could be – then you look for people who fit the the qualities on your internal check list. You ultimately decide on the one who most closely resembles your soul mate within that pool. I am not saying this approach is never successful. I am suggesting it allows many people to settle down with the best “of the worst”, or the best of that particular group. There is a degree of compatibility and a mutual understanding that it’s the right time to step into that phase of your life, then three kids later, you have a life together. Maybe that’s not so wrong. In reality, the human race definitely would not have survived otherwise. But it’s not just that. That process isn’t less reliable or faulty necessarily.

All I’m saying is, I’ve never been able to do that and not even by any choice of my own. I’ve tried and failed, and ultimately feel like garbage and a terrible human being and like surely I have malfunctioned. My internal warning instinct goes off – like a skunk emitting spray – there is no helping it – it is a defence against predators – or maybe I’m the predator – out to rip apart an unsuspecting victim as an innate natural ritual. I’m exaggerating, A LOT. I probably just haven’t liked anyone enough or the right way.  I have a really tough time with the idea that someone who is a complete stranger becomes your family. You rely on that person entirely and trust them entirely, and if I’m ever going to do that, it’s not because the person meets certain adjectives on a list. In fact, I don’t know how I’m ever going to do that. Maybe I won’t.

The point is, there isn’t a formula. You can say “try online dating” or “travel” or “be more open-minded”, “take risks” and although that may widen the prospects – it will no more guarantee that that one person will finally find the way into my heart before I turn wild on him. I have to trust in something greater than myself for this. I have to have a little faith (and confession, 50% of the time, I don’t).

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Joe and Katrina Engagement Session

It was a perfect day for photographs, sunny and not too hot. We started at the Church where Joe and Katrina got engaged, and then hit up the Canadian Tire Fishing Aisle where they met, and then on to one of their favourite places, the comic book store, and finally for a picnic to Niagara on the Lake, at a truly beautiful location, which although busy, seemed private and cozy.

It was a tiny bit difficult to capture the photos at Canadian Tire because it was really busy and this little girl was watching so intently that it felt mildly wrong for them to be kissing and so forth in front of her. In any case, we got some fun captures and that’s what matters.

Life in a nutshell… May 2, 2015

I woke late, which I love doing on sunny days. I touched up paint on a few things, then sat in the sunshine and watched my aunt and uncle’s dog eat an ice cube.

In the afternoon, I photographed a baby birthday party, with a really fun, sweet family. There were so many babies! And lots of bubbles and pretty decorations.

Afterwards, I hung out with my friends on their date night, which wasn’t super awkward until the waitress basically called me a third wheel, (which I was). We went to Neutral Zone Comics in Niagara Falls, then for Thai food and I suggested we go to Port Dalhousie (so I could get some cute, candid photos of them at the beach). It turned out the sunset was gorgeous that night, and the only downside was the random bug hatches that swarmed in some of the photos. My friends got engaged a few days ago… and I get to be the wedding photographer, so it was worth being a third wheel in the end! Congratulations guys. I’m so excited to be a part of your day!